Staying connected: how to beat loneliness in New Jersey

Loneliness tends to arrive quietly. A spouse dies. Friends move to Florida or to their children's towns. You stop driving at night, and then the Tuesday card game fades away. None of it is anyone's fault, and all of it adds up.

The good news is that New Jersey is full of ways back in. This guide covers the research on why connection matters, then the practical places to find it, from your senior center to a daily phone call from a volunteer.

What did the Surgeon General say about loneliness?

In May 2023, U.S. Surgeon General Vivek Murthy issued an advisory called Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation. Advisories are reserved for urgent public health issues. A few of its findings stand out for older adults:

• In recent years, about one in two adults in America reported experiencing loneliness.
• Lacking social connection can increase the risk of premature death as much as smoking up to 15 cigarettes a day.
• Poor social relationships were linked to a 29% higher risk of heart disease and a 32% higher risk of stroke.
• Chronic loneliness and social isolation can increase the risk of developing dementia by about 50% in older adults.
• The highest rates of social isolation are found among older adults.

Two words in that report are worth separating. Isolation is how many contacts you have. Loneliness is how you feel about them. You can live alone and feel fine, or sit at a crowded family dinner and feel alone. Both matter, and both can change.

Where do I start?

Start with your local senior center. Most New Jersey towns or counties run one, and they are far livelier than their reputation. Expect exercise classes, lunch programs, cards and mah-jongg, lectures, crafts, day trips and health screenings. Many are free or nearly free for residents.

To find yours, call the statewide Aging and Disability Resource Connection at 1-877-222-3737. It routes you to your county office on aging, which knows every center, club and program nearby. You can also dial 2-1-1 or 1-800-510-3102 for NJ 211.

How can volunteering help?

Volunteering gives you a reason to leave the house, a team to belong to and the feeling of being needed. These programs in New Jersey welcome older volunteers.

AARP Foundation Tax-Aide

Tax-Aide volunteers prepare free tax returns at libraries, senior centers and town halls. You do not need a tax or financial background. Volunteers serve as tax preparers or as client facilitators who greet and organize, and they get training on federal and New Jersey tax law. Bilingual volunteers are especially needed. Recruiting happens in late summer for the next tax season, so apply early through AARP's Tax-Aide page. In Somerset County, for example, the 2026 application deadline was September 1.

SHIP Medicare counselors

New Jersey's State Health Insurance Assistance Program (SHIP) gives free, unbiased Medicare counseling, and it relies on trained volunteers. If you understand Medicare, or want to, this is meaningful work. Call 1-800-792-8820 to ask about volunteering. Counselors do not sell or endorse any insurance product.

AmeriCorps Seniors RSVP

RSVP matches volunteers aged 55 and older with local nonprofits. In Gloucester County, the RSVP program based in West Deptford places volunteers about three to four hours a week and runs its own programs, including SHIP counseling and a Friendly Caller/Visitor service for homebound seniors. Call 856-468-1742. In Morris and Sussex counties, a telephone reassurance program based in Morristown recruits volunteers 55 and older to make scheduled wellness calls. Call 973-784-4900 ext. 2909 or 2905. Federal funding for AmeriCorps programs has shifted in recent years, so ask your county office on aging which RSVP programs are active near you.

Food banks and pantries

New Jersey's regional food banks, including the Community FoodBank of New Jersey, Fulfill in Monmouth and Ocean counties, Mercer Street Friends and the Food Bank of South Jersey, all rely on volunteers to sort, pack and distribute food. Many offer weekday shifts that suit retirees. Local pantries at churches and synagogues need help too.

What if I can't get out much?

If health, weather or caregiving keeps you home, connection can come to you. Two kinds of programs exist for exactly this.

Telephone reassurance means a trained volunteer calls you at a set time, often daily, to check in and chat. If you do not answer, the program follows emergency steps. In Union County, Catholic Charities of the Archdiocese of Newark runs a free telephone reassurance program for older adults who live alone. Call 908-709-9580, weekdays 8:30 a.m. to 4:30 p.m.

Friendly visitors are volunteers who come to your home for conversation, cards or a walk. Programs exist through Meals on Wheels in Greater New Brunswick, Jewish Family Service of Somerset, Hunterdon and Warren Counties, and the Gloucester County RSVP program, among others. Visitors in these programs are usually screened and trained.

Every county has something similar. Call your county office on aging through the ADRC at 1-877-222-3737 and ask, "Do you have a friendly visitor or telephone reassurance program?"

Can technology help?

Video calls, family group texts and online classes can fill the gaps between visits. The barrier is often just setup. Senior Planet from AARP offers free online classes and a free tech hotline at 888-713-3495, Monday through Saturday, in English, Spanish and Mandarin. Callers who need more help can book a free one-on-one video session with a volunteer. Senior Planet also hosts online exercise, crafting hangouts and discussion groups.

Your public library is the other great tech resource. Many offer one-on-one help with phones and tablets, and some lend devices or hotspots. Ask what your library offers.

A word of caution: online is also where scammers look for lonely people. If a new online friend asks for money, stop. Read our guide to scams before you join dating sites or new social apps.

What about clubs, faith communities and pets?

Clubs. Garden clubs, book groups, walking groups, model railroaders, bird clubs, community choirs and veterans' posts all meet regularly and welcome new members. Classes count too. Our guide to learning something new lists programs like OLLI at Rutgers that double as social clubs.

Younger people. Friendships across generations count. Tutoring at a school, reading programs at the library and mentoring through local nonprofits put you in regular contact with kids and young adults, which many older volunteers find energizing.

Faith communities. Churches, synagogues, mosques and temples often run senior groups, meal programs and visiting ministries for members who are homebound. If you have drifted away from a congregation, a call to the office is often welcomed.

Pets. A dog gets you outside and talking to neighbors. A cat gives a quiet house some company. Before adopting, think honestly about cost, mobility and who would care for the animal if you were hospitalized. Many shelters have older, calmer animals that suit older owners, and some let you foster before you commit. If you cannot keep a pet, shelters need volunteers to walk dogs and socialize cats.

When loneliness feels heavier

Sometimes loneliness slides into depression. Signs include losing interest in things you used to enjoy, sleeping much more or less, and feeling hopeless for weeks. Tell your doctor, who can screen for depression and refer you to counseling. Medicare covers a yearly depression screening and mental health visits. If you or someone you love is in crisis, call or text 988 for the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, any time.

Pick one idea from this page and try it this week. Connection is built one small, repeated habit at a time.

Common questions

What did the Surgeon General's 2023 advisory say?

It said about one in two U.S. adults reported loneliness in recent years, and that lacking social connection can raise the risk of premature death as much as smoking up to 15 cigarettes a day. It also linked chronic loneliness and isolation to about a 50% higher risk of dementia in older adults.

How do I find a senior center near me in New Jersey?

Call the Aging and Disability Resource Connection at 1-877-222-3737 to reach your county office on aging, or dial 2-1-1.

Is there a program that will call me every day?

Yes. Many counties have telephone reassurance programs. In Union County, Catholic Charities of the Archdiocese of Newark offers free daily calls to older adults who live alone (908-709-9580). Ask your county office on aging about others.

Can I volunteer if I have no special skills?

Yes. AARP Tax-Aide needs greeters as well as preparers, food banks need packers, and telephone reassurance programs train callers. RSVP programs match adults 55 and older with local roles.

This guide is for general information. Program rules and income limits change, so confirm with the official source before you apply.